Millennials: The new Greatest Generation

One cannot go a day without seeing an edgy think piece written by a 60-something baby boomer claiming that Millennials are causing the downfall of the “Great American society” we’ve been living in since VJ Day. We’re lazy, unappreciative, lacking of common sense, selfish, “don’t know the struggle”, and un-deserving of anything we receive. We’re the “participation trophy” generation. According to most boomers, the Chinese will take over the world by 2050 and America will be reduced to nothing but a very large Grand China Buffet.  Millennials, frankly put, are the worst thing to happen to humanity.

They’re wrong.

No, really, they’re wrong. Millennials are the best thing to happen to modern society. Unlike previous generations, the vast majority of us were not raised to be racist, sexist bigots. Everyone is the same- just living life as a victim of the human condition. Don’t get me wrong, there will always be a Billy Ray from Bumfuck, Nowhere that hates everyone that isn’t white and a fan of Dale Sr- but the other 99% are done with the hate. We don’t care what color or you are or what gender you are- as long as you’re not an asshole, we can be friends. You believe in the Christian God? Cool! You think we are nothing but specks of dust in the void? I could see that. You have no clue what to believe and aren’t going to talk down on someone for having a different line of thinking? You and I both.  We don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bi-sexual, transsexual, metrosexual, pansexual, or any other kind of sexual I may have missed. You’re gay? That’s dope. You’re straight? That’s dope. You like to bang McChicken’s? More power to you, brother- just don’t hurt yourself.

The racist and homophobic culture is dying.  The negative aspects of religion are being removed from everyday society.  War to us, for the most part, is pointless. Why do we need to shoot at guys we have never met before who have families and lives at home? We’re all just people, and millennials see that clearer than any other generation. Just because I was born somewhere other than you does not mean I’m any better or worse than you are and it surely does not mean I have a right to rob you of your way of life just because I can.

Millennials are the first generation to grow up with the Internet- we all grew up together, around the world, as one. We’ve been through it all with each other. I could go to France, say “Suh Dude” to the first cute 19-year-old I see, and they’ll laugh. I could see an Asian dude in white Vans and say “Damn Daniel, back at it again!” and he’ll know what I’m talking about. That guy in the Harambe T-shirt at Walmart? Dicks out. I have never met these people in my life, but we have so much in common- we’ve seen and heard so many of the same things.

The Internet is also great for calling people out for being an asshole. Don’t get me wrong, we all miss the days when Grandma Smith and Auntie Sue weren’t online and clogging our timelines with Trump quotes and those stupid auto-play videos of a Corgi humping a couch cushion (it was a much simpler time), but now we get to watch Auntie’s comment section burn to the ground when she posts about how all black people should be shot on site by cops for smoking a joint. If you’re an asshole, we’re going to let you know- and we’re going to let the world know.

Too often, Millennials get a bad rep. We aren’t “social justice warriors” or trying to convince people that gender is a figment of our imaginations- we aren’t all lazy and we aren’t all entitled. We don’t hate cops, but we think it’s fucked up that they shoot people for not being white. No, they all don’t shoot on sight. No, not everyone was/is shot unjustly.  But camcorders are real now, folks, and we can see it with our own two eyes. It just has to stop. We are all the same.

Boomers, I have a proposition for you- let us take it from here. You have done great things for society and that is undeniable, but it’s time to move on. Take your pensions and relax- ride it out in a life of luxury. We appreciate the participation trophies (that you gave us) and the sacrifices you made for us. We love you. But it’s our turn now.


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