Election Day 2016: This is who we’ve got

I was in 8th grade when Barack Obama defeated John McCain in the 2008 presidential election. Until then, I could not have cared less about government and politics. There is really no reason to care about those kinds of things when you’re a kid- mom wakes you up, gets you to school, at school all you’re thinking about is either recess or the potential hug you’re going to get from your “girlfriend” after school, mom (or the bus) gets you home, your dinner is prepared for you, you go outside and play, watch American Idol, take a shower and then head to bed to do it all over the next day. If you’re sick, you go to the doctor- you don’t worry about paying for it. Taxes mean nothing to you. War is a foreign concept. Race is a game to see who can run faster, not a human ranking system. Life is good.

When I watched Obama being sworn into office in my 8th grade history class, something changed. As he began speaking, I could feel my life shifting in that very moment- from being a kid to growing into an adult. President Obama made me feel like I needed to care about what I was about to get myself into as I grew up in 21st century America- he made me want to understand the inner workings of government, the principles behind American democracy and what challenges our country faced on the road ahead. The way he spoke captivated 14 year-old me in way I had never been captivated politically before. He commanded my attention hundreds of miles away, through a television. Politics began to matter.

I’m 21 now (almost 22!), out of college and putting in my 40-hour weeks to appease the capitalist gods that rule me. Over the last 8 years, I have been through it all- I got my first kiss, lost my driver’s license for a semester because I got a B in Spanish, placed in the state track meet, was the prom king, got my first job, dated and then broke up with two ex-girlfriends, almost kind of got arrested, graduated high school, didn’t get into the college I wanted to, went to WVU, joined the band, decided to transfer across the country, quit the band, decided to stay, lived at home again, got my first apartment, delivered pizzas, lived with frat guys for a semester, got my second apartment, got a kind-of real job, graduated from journalism school, got a job as an IT guy, bought my first car, and gained about 10 pounds. President Obama has been there for me, thought it all. I watched him lead the country with grace and humility- I watched him being a loving husband and father to his kids- I watched him care. Through all the mass shootings, Middle East problems, and economic crises Obama never stopped projecting his message of hope. Obama’s unwavering dedication over the last 8 years to his “no matter what happens we are going to make it, and it will be OK” message has made a permanent impact on my life. From the bottom of my heart… Thanks, Obama. Your legacy will endure for generations to come. You will always be my president.


Unfortunately, Obama cannot be the president forever. He has reached the end of his two-term limit. Tomorrow, we will elect a new President of the United States. Our choices are Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. No, that was not a typo- Donald fucking Trump and Hillary Clinton are the nation’s top two choices to be the leader of the free world. Washington, Lincoln, Kennedy… Trump? Hillary “I would lose to literally any viable candidate in history but I got to run against Donald Trump” Clinton? Really? Where the hell is Mitt Romney when you need him? My God, these two make John Kerry look like FDR. It’s bad. It’s really bad. But it’s who we’ve got.

Donald Trump is a reality TV star, and a damn good one. The guy should teach a PR class at Harvard. He can make a lot of people believe something without really trying. He has been spewing racist, sexist bullshit for the entirety of his campaign- and he still might beat Hillary Clinton(!!!) He literally wants to build a wall around the country. He claims to know more about international politics than the former Secretary of State. He says he is bringing energy back to West Virginia (he’s not… no one is). He will hire “all the right people” to run the country. He has absolutely no experience in the political arena. He will “flatten ISIS” and throw us into World War III with Russia as soon as he initiates the no-fly zone.

He is insane.

Trump has a few good ideas, though. He is pro life and pro 2nd amendment. I like guns and babies. Abortion is fucked, and we have the right to hunt. He is for the most part fiscally conservative, another plus. He’s just crazy. People like Trump because they see him as an outsider- someone who just maybe will help them.

Clinton is Claire Underwood. She will lie, cheat and steal to get what she wants. That is fine and all, but it is not really a good trait to have if you want to be President of the United States. She has been wrapped up in scandals for years. She put state email on a private server. She wasn’t too great as Secretary of State. People just don’t trust her. She isn’t likable at all. She is playing the “vote for me, I’m a woman” card far too much. She is the rich grandma who lives in Florida that sees her grandchildren once a year but sends money every holiday only to make her feel like you care about her.

She sucks.

Hillary, like Trump, has some good ideas though. College is overpriced and she wants to fix that. Obamacare needs a refresh, not a delete. She cares about non-white people. Gays aren’t subhuman. And, she’s been in politics for her entire life. Also, she campaigned with Lebron.

This election is very important for one reason: The Supreme Court of the United States has one vacant seat, and more will be coming soon. Whoever is elected President will be able to appoint justices that will decide the future of America for decades to come. We cannot afford to go back in time and appoint justices that are not progressive- that are afraid and refuse to rule in favor of the people. We don’t want any more ultra-conservative whack jobs (sorry, Boomers).

For that reason, I’m with her. I will be voting for Hillary Clinton to be the next President of the United States tomorrow.

I’m sorry Donald, but it’s time to let the pussy grab us.

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